Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Team Teal Tuesday - The Plan

Hey there, blog friends ~

When my mom {Marti} was still on the planet and fighting against ovarian cancer, I occasionally posted stuff about her on Tuesdays and I called it "Team Teal Tuesday." Now that she's gone, I thought I would continue this bit here on my blog, in honor of my mom and also in an effort to bring awareness to ovarian cancer.

{Project Life pages ~ our walk for ovarian cancer awareness}

I originally chose Tuesday because it was the day Mom always received chemotherapy - every three weeks - and because I thought "Team Teal Tuesday" had a catchy tone. Ironically, my mom died on a Tuesday, so there you have it. {Three weeks ago today, but who's counting...}


The past few weeks have been rough. I've been super sad, and I've hated seeing people I love being super sad. It's a very helpless feeling when you know exactly what a sibling is feeling and there's no way to change it for them. I realize now that one of the reasons my mom did not want to go was because she knew we would be heartbroken.


Oh sure, people will say she'll always be with me, that I'll always have her in my heart, I'll always have those memories, and I know all of that to be true - that's lovely. But the logical part of my brain is screaming, "I WANT MY MOM!!!" and that's just not possible anymore.


So, once in a while, on a Tuesday, I'm going to tell a story about my mom, or share a photo, or just give you a not-so-gentle nudge to pay attention to your body and ask all the right questions.

If my mom and I can save one woman from going through what she endured, all of this will be worth something.

26 comments:

humel said...

Deb, what a lovely idea - a lovely tribute to your Mom. And sweetie, give yourself as much time as you need, OK? Don't feel like you 'should' be feeling better now, or you 'should' be feeling in a particular way. Let yourself scream out if that's what you need to do. Thinking of you always xx

Alison said...

I agree totally with Mel....grief is a LONG process and everyone deals with it in their own way...be kind to yourself my friend
Alison xx

Irene said...

I believe that you never forget a parent, especially a mom. My mother lost her life to pancreatic cancer ten years ago. I think about her every day, and some times I cry because I miss her. I hate that I feel selfish because I am thinking about my self. I do have to keep reminding myself that one day I will be with her and dad in God's Kingdom. Take one day at a time and remember we are here for you. Sending you hugs.

Lisa-Jane said...

Thanks to your posts I was made aware of the signs and I went to get myself checked out. I probably would have ignored all of what was going on. Thankfully the blood test came back clear (3 Tuesdays ago...) but I still have to go for an ultrasound etc. I would never have asked for the tests because I would never have known they existed before I read it here. That's a massive tribute to your Mum xx

JO SOWERBY said...

I am so glad your mum's story will continue to be told. She was an inspiration to so many people. Grief takes so many forms Deb and you will move through so many emotions in short periods of time. There is no right way or wrong way just your way. Take gr8 care,
Jo xxx

Beverly said...

A wonderful way to honor Marti and share with others. How cool is Lisa Jane's comment!!!? I have times when I still ache and cry for loved ones that have gone on, some over 30 years ago. I just tell myself it speaks to how important they were to me.

Susan said...

God bless you, my friend!

debs14 said...

After 23 years of losing my dad and 15 years of losing my mum I still have days when an overwhelming sense of loss comes over me. So, dear Deb, it is no wonder you are still in a state of deep grief. So many different stages to cope with, I think you are probably still in shock that it has happened. By spreading awareness of the disease, you are honouring your mum in the best possible way. Team Teal Tuesday is a brilliant plan!

Ginger said...

Deb I like your plan for Tuesdays and I think you have made a lovely Project Life spread here commemorating that week. I agree with what the others have said, the grieving process is different for each of us. Take care sweet Deb!
Gxx

Sian said...

It sounds like an excellent plan.

Take it very easy on yourself. It's absolutely right to recognise that what you feel and what people try to offer aren't always the same thing. Everybody's grief feels different, even on different days as well as feeling the same , some of the time. Hope that makes sense

Maria Ontiveros said...

What beautiful photographs today Deb - they are so life-affirming. I'm glad you're going to share memories of your mom. I've been doing that on Sundays this month, and I've found it very healing (cuz, yeah, I still miss my parents).
Rinda

scrappyjacky said...

I think that's a wonderful idea,Deb.

Cheri said...

Love your Project Life spread and your plans for Team Teal Tuesday. Go ahead and scream if you need to - it might make you feel better. :) If you need an excuse, try a martial arts class where they make you scream. ;) Loving that Whiskers Jay also approves of your Project Life spread!

Fiona@staring at the sea said...

It's a great plan Deb and you got me thinking about the square I'm going to make for the Team Teal quilt.
Thinking of you xx

Karen said...

I love the idea of a Team Teal Tuesday and am looking forward to reading Marti's stories xxx

alexa said...

What a touching tribute to your very wonderful Mum, Deb - even your lovely cat is looking up at you approvingly!

Amy said...

Excellent idea Deb - wonderful!

M.L. @ The House of Whimsy said...

Dear Deb,
I was so sad to read about your adorable mom passing. I'm sure you remember my 'Wednesdays With my Mom' posts. It's been two years now and I still miss her.
Soon after my husband and son died someone gave us the book, 'The Message' by Lance Richardson. It was the one book that helped our family the very most (and we read A LOT).
You can order it on Amazon. But be sure you have the right author because there are many books with that title. It brought us the
most peace after we lost them.
Please take care and just take the grief as it comes and don't fight it. It always comes in waves. One day you're fine and the next it hits you like a tidal wave. It's all normal...there's really no right or wrong to grieve.
Much love,
Mary Lou

Joy said...

Hi, saw your post on House of Whimsy.. I am so sorry for the loss of your MOM.. I know all to well how it is.. It is hard to believe that my mom has been gone for 4 years.. I still miss her so much it hurts. I remember the first time I went to pick up the phone to call her.. and it hit me.. I couldn't call her anymore. It was a rough 1.5 years after.. it eases but you will always miss your mom. I love how you honor her. Hugs to you.

Karen said...

There probably isn't a more fitting tribute to your fabulous mom than to continue the Team Teal Tuesday posts! You know you are in my thoughts and prayers!

Auntie Bliss said...

Bless your heart. She was so cute and too young.
I didn't feel that anyone's words comforted me when daddy died. I try not to say any but usually just hug the daylights out of people...wish I could hug you!
Don't feel guilty please, when you start to feel less sad?

furrypig said...

I say 'go with the flow' it seems to work for me! Sometimes I have literally spent all day crying other times I am sharing a joke with my dad on the phone or trying to be creative and send a card to let him know I am thinking of him.
The more I think about it the more I think I should be brave like you (and Marti) I think I should start to share more on my blog about my dad. You have probably helped mer more than anyone else and if you had never opened up on here I would never have been able to 'talk' to you and Marti about things. Also as you said today if I could possibly help one other person it would be woth something.
thank you Deb and thinking of you today as always xxx

Rhona said...

Like everyone else, I love the idea of the Team Teal Tuesdays and it'll be a wonderful way to hear more stories about your Mom. Your PL layout is lovely. Still thinking of you all the time. Take care and be kind to yourself. xxx

Stephanie @ La Dolce Vita said...

what a lovely tribute to your mom. and it doesn't matter if you're 8 or 80, you'll always want your mom. thinking of you!

Gail said...

What a wonderful tribute to your Mum. Grief is a very personal thing and it's different for everyone - even now 36 years later I am still missing my Mum. Remember we are here for you.

Your PL pages for that week are amazing looking.

Jimjams said...

This sounds like a wonderful idea - a great tribute to your Mum and a wonderful way to keep her in *all* our hearts!

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